Trump Denies Having Ever Been President

In a stunning statement this morning, one far too shocking for any other news source to even cover it, Donald Trump proclaimed that no matter what evidence Robert Mueller finds against him, this cannot be used to impeach him because Donald Trump is not, and never has been, the President of the United States of America.

This confession came in a Tweet which was posted about 10:30 this morning, although it says much later because TotesRealNews was using European Twitter for a little while for top-secret reasons. This is an unusual time for a Trump Tweet but this was an unusual tweet. Other news outlets did not dare to reproduce this before it got deleted, but we did, so here it is:

Your Donald J. Trump Fake Tweet - I am not President. The so-called "Trump Presidency" was all a big illusion by Crooked Hillary and the Fake News Media to blame me for everything while they ruined the country. They even pretended I have bad grammar when I have the best grammar.

 

As is clear by the totally real screenshot above, it was retweeted by over 56,000 people before finally being deleted a short time later, but the fake news media alluded to above will never share in the memory of these 56,007 people, some of whom might even be humans rather than bots specifically created to like and retweet things like this.

The fake news media will also never share the follow-up tweet, but we will:

Your Donald J. Trump Fake Tweet - Everyone still insisting I am President. Sad! One would have to be super-crazy to try to be President w/o any political experience or understanding of how government works, and in spite of the haters I am not crazy. I have the best sanity!

 

And then Barack Obama responded:

Your Barack Obama Fake Tweet - As much as I would like to not get involved in this nonsense, it must be said that this claim of Donald Trump never being president is nonsense. Donald, as much as we all wish you were not president, you are. For now, at least.

With such shots fired, more shots soon followed:

Your Donald J. Trump Fake Tweet - Fake American Obama thinks I'm the president. Wrong! Crooked Hillary colluded with Russia to make it seem like she lost so the Clinton News Network could show my body and voice instead of hers while she said and did the worst things a president ever did and blame it on me!

And then this:

Your Hillary Clinton Fake Tweet - @realDonaldTrump I am president? Hahahahahaha! Unlike you, who still won't reveal tax returns, that's rich. As president, I would seek common-sense solutions for all Americans instead of blustering to distract from Trumped-Up trickle down economics in your disaster of a tax bill.

Mr. Trump did not respond to this tweet, probably because his handlers read his previous tweets and took his phone away again.

But the Babadook responded several hours later, with the only tweet in this exchange which can still be found on Twitter:

 

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s